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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

happy national day! time really flies...

havent really been updating cause i was really busy!well, i shall sum up my week or so..just to let everyone know how im doing yeah? this week was great except that im having my downs right now. aww..makes me think so much yet again. the problem with me is i think too much and i let my feelings control me. ogay, that sucks.

friday 05/07/05
had physics mock exams..went for fop after that. fop was reallyreally good. hillsongs&delirious. wan and i waited for like 2+ hours and it was freaking hot! like wow! i dont need a tan do i? nope, i dont. haha. well, sat with bernadette in front and i felt god's presence! reached home at abt 12 plus and knockout(K.O) straight away.

saturday 06/07/05
woke up at 6+ (had like only 6 hours of slp which is definitely not enough for a person like me) went to sch for bio lessons + bio test. then stayed back in sch till 1+ for full english paper mock exams. :] five day week. yes, how nice. went home to slack for a while before meeting gracia, huizhi, joanne, wanli, zhuang shu, amanda, david and qiwei. headed for marina bay for some national day thingy. yeah, it was so hot again!! watched the fireworks. awesomeawesome. then we walked all the way from marina bay to suntec. no kidding, tough walking. was perspiring like mad. this tells me i need to do some exercise soon? :] went for the bday party after that. well, didnt even stay there for more than 2 hours. ahah. reached home at 12 plus and then i K.O straight away too. a pity i couldnt make it for fop.. oh wells.


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us! (:
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zhuang trees(shu) :p



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gracia and me! <3


sunday 07/07/05
woke up at 6+ again (this time surviving on only six hours of sleep again) and went for first service. (: serene didnt come cause she wasnt feeling well, hope she is now! after that, rachel and i went to meet gracia and her friends for fop! this time waiting for more than three hours!! and it was soso hot again!! but yeah, we played games and told lame jokes. heh. i just love lame jokes, not the extreme ones though. got good seats and this time, praise&worship was really really good. felt god's presence strongly. after that, took a cab home with gracia and rachel. K.O straight away. haha.

monday 08/07/05
went to sch in the morning. lousy national day celebration. i think its one of the worst celebrations ive ever came across. ogay, not that it mattered much. i love singapore in my heart right? (: cca commendation after that and it made me realised that i've been studying in hsc for four years. and my sec one days just felt like it happened yesterday. the feeling when i first stepped into the school. ogay, memories just came gushing back. went home after that. got ready to go out with rachel. went to suntec and we watched the wedding crashers. it was damn funny like mad. crazy movie. me and rachel are really good shoppers k! cause we walked and walked and walked till our feet hurts! well, then we went back home and slacked. (:

and today..
well, i pratically did nth much except to slp cause i felt so tired. and you probably realised something. i didnt mention the word 'study' nor 'books'. ahah. ogay, i didnt study at all. crap, and my prelims are so near! well, and im feeling kinda down cause something unpleasant happened. thank god for friends though..for their support and love. serene,gracia,huizhi&zhuang shu..yeah so i guess im feeling neutral now. dont know what to do at all. nope, not a single clue. i dont know how i should feel, neither do i know how i should react. i dont know at all. i dont know what i should do next. ): and its hurting me hell lots. abba, help me. and i was just thinking about the 'whys' and the 'whats' and the 'how come(s)'. the more i thought about it, the more i think life is meaningless. then i read this from someone's blog and i thought it was really meaningful..

God has blessed me with life. i believe the best way i can show him how much i love Him and the gift He's given me is by living life to the fullest.

and this sentence just mean so much to me. i dont know what to say or do. do you see the beauty that lies within? abba, grant me strength to get thru this tough time in my journey called life..i cant handle this problem at all. nope, and its not within my means to do anything else. it just dawned on me that i have been trying too much, trying to make something happen, trying to do what i can,or maybe even what i cannot do, trying to make something happen. i've been trying too much to this point i feel its pointless to continue, but i dont want it to end. you know how much i yearned for this. you know lord, only you do. help me abba. amen.